


Disappointment

by yellow_craion



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alec Lightwood Feels, Alec Lightwood Has Panic Attacks, Bad Parenting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Emotionally Hurt Alec Lightwood, Emotionally Hurt Magnus Bane, Episode: s01e12 Malec, Fantastic Racism, Gen, Homophobia, Hurt Alec Lightwood, M/M, POV Magnus Bane, Panic Attacks, Supportive Magnus Bane, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-13
Updated: 2018-10-13
Packaged: 2019-08-01 14:58:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16286732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellow_craion/pseuds/yellow_craion
Summary: How that scene where the Lightwoods come to berate Alec after the wedding-that-wasn't should have gone. Purely self indulgent on my part.bad things happen bingo prompt - verbal abuse





	Disappointment

**Author's Note:**

> been told Alec is ooc here and that’s most likely true, but it’s sth that I needed to happen in that scene, for myself, so here, i wrote it
> 
> great big thank you to rabbitclaw and lewispanda for beta reading

Magnus can barely contain himself, as he’s following Alec with his eyes. The shadowhunter is pacing around him in circles, messing with his golden cufflinks.

He’s bubbling with joy but also a little wary.

Alec seemed so lost before and there was that moment when he couldn’t catch his breath - not in the fun, playful way, either - but in a distressed, bending in half, way.

The conference room with a long table was good for the group conversation and the well wishes, but now that the others left, Magnus hates its open space. It invites onlookers.

They really need a private moment.

But then he doesn’t want to overwhelm him, when the shadowhunter is looking so close to a breaking point. He’s giving Alec time to walk off some of his stress, and himself to think how to ask him where they stand now. After such a public statement as their kiss was, Alec’s reality is shifting fast.

So instead, he’s keeping it light and cheerful.

“Got to hand it to you, you certainly know how to make a statement, Alexander,” he comments with a wide grin. And while this is far from the most pressing thing on his mind, it is the truth.

Alec is about to respond, shy smile gracing his lips making Magnus fall a little more in love, when they’re interrupted by the sound of steps approaching from behind.

Just a glance at Alec’s parents is enough to wipe the warlock’s grin without them even uttering a word. They look ready for war, no swords necessary.

Magnus looks away. Then, not satisfied with the distance between the older Lightwoods and himself, he steps to the side, allowing Alexander to deal with his relatives.

“Do you realize what you’ve done to this family, Alec?”

Alec steps forward, putting himself between them and Magnus, who’s listening in with a growing scowl.

Exactly the greeting he’d expect.

“This isn’t about you,” Alec responds coldly, still fiddling with his cuff.

“Of course it is! You’ve humiliated us in front of the most respected members of the Clave! I don’t even recognize you anymore.You’re either being selfish or naive. And I didn’t raise you like that.”

“I’m the same person I’ve always been. Now everything’s just out in the open.”

“Not enough to announce to the world you’re…” Robert can’t come up with a word, which, the warlock thinks, may be for the better. “How are people supposed to take you seriously now, Alec?”

Magnus cringes.

“And a warlock on top of that! How long has this… thing been going on? You’re not in love, are you?!”

Maryse glares at Magnus. “How is he worth it?”

It’s not that Magnus is expecting much from these people - far from it - but the palpating distaste in Robert’s voice, and hearing - again and again - how loving a warlock is the most revolting thing possible, it still hurts.

He wraps his arms around himself, effectively hugging himself, bowing his head down, because as much as he loathes to admit it, words still affect him.

Then Alec laughs in response.

And it shatters his heart on the spot, because Magnus knows that laugh - he’s heard that mockery plenty of times in his life as well. He just didn’t think he’d hear it coming from Alexander.

Right there, not five steps away, too.

“You think I will tell you anything about my love life? After what you’ve just told me about bringing shame to the family name?”

The Lightwoods gasp and Magnus blinks in surprise.

Oh!

“Let’s not forget, your past in the Circle is way more shameful than my being gay - that’s the word, father,  _ gay - _ or my dating a downworlder ever could,” Alec spits out.

”Alec!”

“No,” he cuts in whatever protest his parents could voice. “You hate me, that’s fine. You don’t hate me? Then try expressing that some other way. I don’t care right now. I’m tired and I need to talk with Magnus alone now, so just leave.”

“How dare you speak to us this way?” Maryse asks through clenched teeth. “I know I’ve raised you better than to disrespect your elders.”

Magnus would roll his eyes at that if he wasn’t focused on Alec’s shaking hands.

“It’s that warlock!” Robert grabs Alec’s arm, pulling. “Let’s get you away...”

“Enough! Just leave!”

Once they are finally alone, he turns to Magnus.

“I’m sorry about that.”

“Not at all!” The warlock smiles sadly. He knows how it feels to fail parental expectations all too well, no matter how misguided those expectations may have been. So, in an attempt to help Alec out of that emotional black hole, Magnus says: “I’m proud of you, Alexander.”

And he is.

"Tha…” He doesn’t finish though. He staggers and leans on the table, his loud gasps making Magnus’ heart skip a beat again today.

“Alec!”

Magnus rushes to him, holding him upright by the elbows, wide-eyed, “Alec, please,” he pauses to ensure Alec’s attention is on him.

He’s pulling at his shirt, and his eyes are red when they try to meet the warlock’s gaze.

“Slow, deep breaths, yeah? With me,” he takes a breath himself to demonstrate. “Can you do that?”

Alec nods jerkily, tears in his eyes. His breath is half as long as what Magnus showed him, but Magnus is still glad.

To help him along, he moves his hand to hover over Alec’s shaking fist. “May I?”

Alec is staring at him, eyes half-lidded, and for a second, Magnus wonders if Alec even understands his question - but then Alec just pulls Magnus’ hand against his chest in response.

He’s pouring his magic into the shadowhunter, slowly, surprised it goes in so easily; Alec’s body welcoming it as if it wants it there.

The thought brings a smile to Magnus’ lips. He glances up to Alec and finds him smiling too.

“Thank you,”

“Alexander,” Magnus lets out a relieved laugh with the last bursts of magic. “You need rest.”

“I feel like I’m going to explode,” Alec leans in even closer, resting his forehead on Magnus’ shoulder. “Can we get out of here? To your place,” he whispers with quivering voice.

“Gladly,” the warlock says and with a couple of gestures, he opens a portal for them to stagger through - Alec clutching at him for balance and comfort.

On the other side, once Alec collapses onto the sofa with Magnus’ help, the shadowhunter is stuck staring blankly into space

Magnus is considering the best course of action, when Alec speaks up.

“Used to be the perfect son, now look at me. I’m a disappointment,” he laughs bitterly and shakes his head.

“You’re not a disappointment!”

“I rebelled. I am to them,” he turns to face Magnus and smiles, as if to say he’s accepted it, as if to stop the warlock from arguing on his behalf.

And Magnus doesn’t. Because he sees how worn out the shadowhunter is.

That conversation can wait.

Right now they can just sit in silence together.

Maybe later they’ll drink.


End file.
